Shattered Pieces

I've decided to post a couple of my short stories over the next couple days; both of these stories were written last summer.  I took Intro to Literature as a summer module, and the final assignment was a "creative project."  It was left open for basically whatever we wanted to do as long as it was somehow literature related.  Therefore, I wrote these short stories.  Your comments are welcome; I would like to know what people think about my writing.  Enjoy!

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Pain.  A never-ending, pounding headache that pulsed through his brain.

Confusion.  Past blended with present in a continuous swirl of images. Flashing lights.  People rushing around.  A siren blared, sending fresh waves of agony through his head.  Why was it so loud?

A face.  A voice assuring him that he was going to be okay.

Darkness, like a heavy, black blanket had been thrown over him.

Another swirl of motion.  More sounds, not as loud this time.  Voices.

"He suffered a severe concussion as well as..."

"How is he?"  Dad?

He had a brief glimpse of a doctor with a clipboard before the swirl doused him in blackness once again.

A door.  A stream of light.  Darkness.  Pain.

His brother’s voice.  "Don't leave us, Luke.  Don't..."

The swirl of faces and sounds rushed past him before the blackness swept over him again.  Then, stillness.  He could feel his pounding heart.

The door appeared again, rimmed by light shining from the other side. It was closed.  Why was it closed?

A glimmer of hope; hope for what lay beyond that door.  He tried to reach for it, but found he could not move.  Why couldn’t he move?  He struggled.  A silent promise of every good thing was held behind that door, but he could not enter it.

Wait.  Peace flooded over him.  Wait, and you will see.

The door disappeared as his brother’s voice came through the blur of images.  “We need you here.”



The first thing Luke noticed as the swirl faded into darkness was the steady beep of a heart monitor; the next was his still aching head.  A groan escaped his lips.

He forced his eyes open.  The white walls and medical equipment could only mean a hospital.

A nurse entered the room.  "Well," she commented with a smile.  “Looky who's awake."